If you feel the need to control others, it is a good indicator that you feel you have little control over your own life and happiness. Guiding and controlling are two very different things. Do the things you love to do, allow joy and happiness and love into your life, let others live their lives, and you will find yourself a whole lot more enjoyable to be around. Your life will be far more fulfilling and you will have less anger and more laughter. Don’t take yourself too seriously. You can be incredibly good at what you do and quite talented, and if you are sincere, authentic, and compassionate, you attract far more admiration and love than if you puffed yourself up and used manipulation rather than authenticity. Share with others what you do. Inspire others. Do it with gratitude.
Life is meant to be experienced, enjoyed, felt, lived, with honesty, integrity, and compassion – and definitely humor. Those qualities in a person make them interesting, fascinating, and incredibly attractive. It isn’t the talent alone, though others may want to learn a thing or two from your success and abilities, and may hope to gain from them as well, it is in your authenticity about that success that makes you amazing, awe inspiring. If you begin to expect people to read between the lines when you communicate with them, then you will see that you are not being authentic and are being manipulative. If you are forthright and speak your truth, there will be no need for anyone to second guess what you mean, or have to read between any lines in your communication with them. They will see that you are a person of integrity and you mean what you say and people will trust the words as truth when you speak them and can make decisions about you based on your authentic self. It does not mean you will always be right. And it does not mean you tell all, all the time. But you will be trustworthy. And your relationships will be more relaxed and honest. You will know you’ve given people your truth. It is up to them to do with that information what they will. No manipulation necessary. Understandably, in negotiations in relationships and in business, one cannot show all of their cards. What you do share though, let it be the truth. Also, admit where you were wrong. Your truth may not always be the truth. And that truth may change.
What you may have thought things were, may, with further information, not actually be the way they are. Own it when that happens. That takes courage.
Do the things in this life you love and let the rest be what it will be. Let the world react as it will. Be an oak and stand in your authenticity, humility, compassion, and joy. If we live our lives hoping others approve of our every choice, then we are not being authentic. We are giving up a piece of our soul for the opinion of others. They will go on and have their own lives to think of. And if they are trying to control your life with their opinions, chances are very good they are not happy with their life. If we’re going to allow ourselves to be influenced, isn’t it better to be influenced by a happy and contented person than an unhappy one? You would not seek advice on how to be healthy from someone with terrible health habits. You would not seek advice on how to organize and prioritize from someone who is a mess. It is ok to be on the road to happiness. You do get much out of the effort in trying to figure that out and it is ok if you’re not totally there. Life is always a work in progress. You are always a work in progress. You may not get it all right, but you will know by how you feel. If you’re feeling good, have a sense of fulfillment in what you’re doing, have love in your life, have healthy habits and are taking good care of yourself, you are definitely on the right track.
Thinking in healthy ways vs negative ones is one of the most beneficial things we can do to move our life in the right direction. Our thinking creates our overall environment. When we value our happiness, we take little for granted, especially our thoughts. Meditation can help greatly to improve our thinking from negative patterns to positive ones. Any area in our life we feel we can improve on can be significantly improved through meditation.
All things that become our experience in life begin with a thought. This is the catalyst for change. Change your thoughts, change your life. Live your life from your authentic self rather than through negative thinking, fear, and the opinion, concerns, and fears of others. Listen to that voice inside you pushing you into that mysterious world of the unknown, where your dreams are, where you are just a bit afraid to walk but know there is magic there, where your true self in all of its self-expression lives. It does not have to be a fantasy. Yet do allow yourself to visualize it, then follow the promptings that come with it, moving you to the reality of it.
It starts with a thought, or many thoughts, then it begins to prompt you to take action, it brings situations and circumstances into your life born of these thoughts and actions, and develop goals and write down what you want it all to look and feel like. Then continue visualizing and feeling it. You may alter your vision as things develop and take form to incorporate newer, bigger, broader visions. It is not a static thing but a developing, growing, expanding thing that takes on a life of its own through you and through God. You’re working in tandem and being led. This is where the miracles are. This is where your authentic self is. This is what is meant by not living in fear but in faith.
When we are fearful, we manipulate others to try to control the outcome. Unfortunately, the outcome is often our worst fears when we do this. We manifest our fears when we manipulate because our choice to manipulate was a faith in fear. And what we put our faith in becomes our manifestation. When we have faith, period, and we come from authenticity and trust the best possible outcome will be, then that is what we will manifest, and we do not have to manipulate. And here is a little secret. More often than not, people know when they are being manipulated. They just do. Lies just sound different to the ear, the heart, and the soul. Rarely are you fooling someone when you manipulate them. So don’t be surprised when people do the same to you in return. To teach you a lesson. It always backfires. And somewhere inside us, we know that. That is why dishonest people are the most untrusting. Rule of thumb, if you don’t want to be manipulated, don’t manipulate. If you want your relationships to be honest, have integrity, fidelity, love, then be those things yourself. If you are those things, and you still end up hurt, then cut your losses. Maybe find out if you started that chain of events and heal it by owning it. Chances are good you will begin to attract more like-minded people and your experiences will be more positive in the long run if you hold yourself to an authentic way of living. Sometimes you can fool people. But that doesn’t make you smarter than they are. It makes you the dishonest one. And if they believed you, then they gave you more credit than you deserved. They won’t make that mistake again. It all comes down to – what do you want to attract? If you want honest, open, loving relationships in your life, be that kind of person. If someone is not that person for you, losing them will be a gain, not a loss. They may come around once they realize you don’t buy into that kind of relationship and own their stuff. Amazing things happen when you’re living your truth. Clean up your messes. Own your mistakes. Be authentic. Live courageously honest. It is far more courageous to live this way, and in the big picture, much easier.